The Secret Goldfish

There once was a little boy who was called Billy. He loved animals of all sorts, cats and dogs, even pigs and horses. His favorite animals however, were fish. About two years ago, Billy had three fish. Their names were Phoebe, Allie, and Holden. Now, Billy did not have many friends so he enjoyed watching his fish. Day after day he wrote stories about them, their habits and behaviors in their own little world inside a glass bowl. Phoebe was a beautiful angelfish, who, if you asked Billy, was an extraordinarily smart fish. She was fun and athletic and always happy. Allie was Billy's favorite fish; he was a blue tang fish and the prettiest fish of the bunch, with his blue and yellow coloring. Allie was definitely Billy's favorite fish. He was kind and gracious to all the other fish he met. He was smart and funny, but serious when he needed to be. In Billy's world Allie was "the perfect fish" and no fish could ever match up to this wonderful specimen. The eldest of the Fish was Holden. This glistening golden goldfish was a bad student "in Billy's made up school of fish," but he was brilliant in his own way and loved his two fish buddies. He looked up to Billy for food and the comfort of a human boy.

Billy was a very sharing kid and let whoever wanted to see his fish look as much as they pleased. He enjoyed sharing his fish stories with his parents and people that came to the house. He would point at the fish and describe every last detail of their made up lives to any stranger that happened to pass by the house. The people were amazed at Billy's ability to write and always talked to his parents about how he was a budding writer. His parents would just shrug their shoulders and mumble something like, "I guess." All Billy cared about was that his fish were happy and looked after. As long as he trusted the person that was looking after them during the day, he would go to school and play with his little friends, but he always came home excited to watch and observe his beloved fish.

One day after running home and slamming the screen door in his wake, Billy noticed that Allie wasn’t swimming around with a big fishy smile on his face. For Allie, this was a very uncommon event. This cheerful and intelligent fish always made it a point to spread warmth to everyone. Billy quickly ran to his parents screaming at the top of his lungs, "WE NEED A VET, WE NEED A VET!" After calming him down, his parents announced that they would bring Allie to a vet, knowing in their minds that Allie did not have a chance to make it.

At the vet's office, the vet, Dr. Seuss, was very sympathetic and said to Billy. "I will do all that I can to help Allie, but the tiny fish will need to spend the night at the Animal Hospital." Billy urged his parents to let him spend the night with his dearest fish, but his parents insisted that he come home and sleep in his bed saying, "you need to come home and take care of your other two fish."

That night Billy did not sleep a wink. He paced his room back and forth worrying himself about Allie and how the poor helpless little guy was doing. Even though he knew he would not sleep he set his alarm for 7 am, the time that the vet clinic was open to the public. As soon as the alarm went off he sat bolt upright and ran into his parents room. Jumping up and down up and down, screeching at them to wake up, he made his parents very unhappy. His mom and dad mumbled something he could not understand while lazily rolling themselves out of their king sized bed.

Ring Ring, Ring Ring , went the phone in Billy's moms ear as they anxiously waited for some sort of news about Allie. When he heard his mother's voice chatting up the receptionist at the front desk of the clinic, he impatiently tugged on her arm. Then he added a sarcastic eye roll uttering just quiet enough so the person on the other side of the phone couldn't hear… "Mom!!!!" When his mother hung up the phone with a grim expression on her face, he knew that the verdict was not good. This assumption was confirmed with his mother's subtle shake of her head to his father who was also in the kitchen, wearing a mauve bath robe casually leaning on the counter, coffee in hand.

That day Billy didn’t talk to anyone, except his fish. If a person walked into his room he would stand in front of the fish tank and tell the person not to look at them. Suddenly, whenever strangers came over to visit he would make it a point to keep the fish away from them. He kept his stories secret and locked them in a drawer that no one else had the key too. The worst change however was that he absolute refused to go to the school. Before others could watch his fish for the day but now he did not trust anyone to take care of them. He especially did not let anyone look at Holden, he was the only male fish and now he was his favorite. He never dreamed of being a writer anymore he just wanted to stay home and watch his fish. Billy was a sad little boy for a very long time. He tried to hide it and to be cheerful like little boys should be, but everyone could see that something was wrong.

Eventually Billy went to school without protest and played with his friends. He unlocked his drawer with his stories and continued to write them about his two other fish. It took him almost two years for Billy to be completely normal again and to be a cheerful little boy like he should be. People now said, "Remember when that little Billy down the street was in his funk, I have never seen a boy so upset about a fish!" Everyone was happy that Billy was back and that he could share his wonderful fish stories with the world. Billy took this as a sign, he knew that when he grew up he would became a famous writer and share his knowledge with people about the loss of loved ones, he knew he would tell them that everything would eventually be ok.


Analysis

For my paper, I wrote the story, The Secret Goldfish. In the beginning of The Catcher in The Rye, Holden talks very fondly of his brother, DB. Holden says that The Secret Goldfish is about a little boy that is very protective of his goldfish and won't let anyone look at it. I think that DB wrote this story one or two years after Allies death. If he wrote it the way I did, it could symbolize how when Allie died, DB was very protective of Holden "his goldfish." He was scared that Holden would die the same way that Allie did. When Allie died, I think Holden became his favorite and he could not bear to see anything happen to him. I think that in his Hollywood days DB wanted to share with the world that everyone will lose someone at some point in time, and that it may take a while but everything will eventually be ok again, and you may even became happy like you were before. I think that writing this story was a way for DB to let out all of his feelings. When Allie died, Holden and BD became closer. He expressed himself in a way that others could understand and read about. By making it about fish he did not have to stress too much about writing about the actual appearance of Allie and how he was like as a human, which would make his story unbearable for him to write. If I were writing a story about my experiences and myself, I would pick a name that was as far from my personality and name as I could. This way I would not have to look at it as If I am that character. This is why I think that DB would have picked a short little boy name that has no meaning. When I think of DB I think of a smart intellectual guy that is extraordinary in many ways. When I hear Billy, however, I see a picture of a little boy working at a farm in cute little overalls smiling without a care in the world. Maybe by writing this story, DB was letting go of Allie and letting the little "Billy" with the sad and painful memories out, while keeping the good memories in. Holden speaks fondly of his brother's book in The Catcher in the Rye and I think that this is because he feels the same way and he can connect with DB through this story. 